Candy Bar and There You Are Reuben Kincaid
by rollypollyollyolly
Summary: Reuben Kincaid witnesses an accident and is taken back to the war.


Candy Bar and There You Are Reuben Kincaid.

We're only one hour out of San Pueblo and I'm barely keeping it together. I'm driving the Chevy Superior doing double nickels on the 5, trying not to tear my hair out with the incessant singing. They picked me out of a gutter and gave me a life but I think it might've been better to die with my buddies on hill 65. Fuckin' Partridge Family, what a trip. They say I manage them but they rule me. I know the score. Only three more hours until Bakersfield and I then can sneak of to my room and hit the stash in my bag and forget about everything.

I keep my bag under my seat, too many curious little shits to get into it. Shirley would kill me if she found out, Keith would do it all and fuck up the show, or fuck up something anyway. And Danny, tricky Danny. I didn't mean to pull him so hard. I had to get out of there, too many questions.

-Hey Reuben! Do you want to sing I think I Love You with us?

Fucking Tracy. I gotta deal, two hands on the wheel Reuben.

-Sorry sweety I want to keep my eyes on the road. I'm a little worried after this morning. Let's keep it down for old Reuben okay?

-Okay Reuben, just join in if you want

Danny and I were grabbing breakfast at the A + B before it happened. Just 30 minutes before we left for Bakersfield. I was fine. I mean I've been fine for a while, and then it hits you like a tidal wave, takes you out to sea and there is nothing you can do about it.

We were leaving the cafe when a car turned out from Duncan Street. He was going too fast, not looking at the road. Some kid playing grab-ass. He hit that guy, a kid. Knocked him into a truck coming the other way. Didn't stand a chance. The fender crushed his skull. The gushing blood. I just stood there and watched. Watched the blood coming out of this kid. Watched him bleed out, gasping and twitching. This kid, no older than me and my buddies on hill 65. I started seeing their faces. Saw them when we touched down. We had no idea what we were getting into. Saw them dying too. I've been seeing them die ever since this morning, can't get it outta my head.

-Reuben, Reuben, Reuben! Can't you help? You know what to do.

I was frozen, I was back in 'Nam, I couldn't help anyone. Then or now.

I came to my senses enough to whisper:

-I can't help him. I can't help anyone.

Danny grabbed my hand

-Don't worry about them, I bet you they're in Albuquerque, you don't have to worry about anything in Albuquerque, don't you remember? Point me in the direction of Albuquerque...

This goddamn kid! Talking about our trip to Albuquerque now? Fuck man, this guy just got killed in front of us and he wants to talk about Albuquerque?

-Reuben? Reuben Kincaid? Did you see what happened? Can you tell me what happened here.

Goddammit a reporter from the Tattler, that rag.

-Sure he can! We saw the whole thing when we walked out of the A and B.

-Reuben, what happened here?

Goddamn it! I'm seeing my friends in this kids blood and a reporter is asking me what I saw?

-i ... he ... it all ... happened so fast

-Com'n Reuben tell him what happened. Reuben was in the war this shouldn't bother him at all.

Not NOW! Cannot deal with this now, cannot talk now.

-So Reuben you served, what outfit? See any action? So what's the deal here, was that truck speeding? what about that car?

My head is rushing, I got to get out of here!

-I ... I mean ... we have to go. We have a show in Bakersfield to get to. We have to get moving.

-Wow, hey buddy, chill out. Just tell me what exactly happened here?

-Yeah Reuben, tell him.

-We didn 't see anything. WE HAVE TO GO!

I grabbed Danny's arm, damn near ripped it off as I drag him away from this shit.

-Ouch Reuben, that really hurt!

He pulls up his sleave and the bruise is already showing.

-Sorry kid, we just have to get on the road to Bakersfield right now.

I hope he buys it, I hope he doesn't tell Shirley. She could end it, she could end it all for me.

We get back to the house and the bus is packed, the family is raring to go. I tell them I need to grab something I forgot to pack. I grab the stash I keep for when things get too crazy. It's too crazy now. I pack my stash and put my bag under the drivers seat.

-I'll drive!

Gotta stay in control.

-Are you sure Reuben? Danny's been telling us about the accident, do you feel up to it?

-Of course Shirley, don't worry about me, I've seen it all.

-Thanks Reuben, that will give us a chance to practice the whole way down.

Well Shit.

We're 20 minutes outside of San Pueblo, just on the I5 when it hits. I get cut off, have to swerve to miss him.

-I'll fucking KILL you!

-Reuben! keep it down in front of the kids.

-Sorry Shirley, just want to keep everyone safe. Won't happen again.

Goddammit Reuben. Keep it together, KEEP IT TOGETHER.

And that adrenalin hits, boy does it hit. And I'm seeing it, I'm seeing it all man, all of it. We're heading to hill 65 to relieve C company, they were pinned down. It was early morning, marching through jungle when we were lit up! fire coming from our left flank, Smith is down, Jones is down.

-Take cover!

We hit the dirt and fire into it, fire at any leaf that moves. Time slows, we can hear the buzzing of bullets flying overhead and into us. I have no time! No time to stop the bleeding around me, focus forward, focus on firing Reuben! We move forward, C company needs relief. They're getting closer, moving in.

-Fix Bayonets!

Our ammo is low and they are getting bold, attacking our flank in close quarters. An NVA squad comes out of nowhere, McClusky takes a shot to the head. I turn and see them right in front of us. I stab just like in boot. Lunge, twist, move on. I get a couple right in the chest, watch them jerk and bleed. The company fends off the rest. I watch McClusk, on the ground, bleeding, gasping, twitching. He was looking at me hoping I could help him. I couldn't. We march on.

-Reuben.

I came out of it, gripping the steering wheel, sweating, scared.

-Chris and Tracy need to use a washroom, can we stop in Kettleman City?

-Sure thing Shirley, we'll pull over at the next service station.

We were already in Kettleman, how did I keep the car on the road? I need it now. I need a fix. I need to keep their faces away.

I pull into the first station I see, pull up to a pump, and open the doors. Should fuel up while we're here. You never know how far your gonna have to go.

I'm filling the tank, breathing, trying to calm down away from the interstate. I'm gonna grab my fix and take just enough to keep driving, just enough to kill the pain.

-Tracy, are you bleeding? REUBEN! HELP!

Danny cries out. Not Tracy, not another one, not another one.

I get to Tracy and she is covered in blood. Who did this? WHO DID THIS?

-Tracy, oh my god are you okay.

I hold onto her, and take a look at how bad it is. She is red and sticky, down her head onto her shirt. My heart pounds, I can't lose anyone else. I hold on and her blood is sticky. Sticky. Sticky. Too soon for it to be this sticky.

I pull back and take a look, she is smiling at me.

-Thanks for the hug Reuben, I love you too.

I put my thumb to my mouth. Red syrup. Why is she covered in red syrup? Danny, Danny why? Why would you do this?

I run back to the bus and check my bag. It's open. The stash is gone. I'm panting.

-Watcha looking for Reuben?

Danny is sitting down grinning at me. Shirley is here with Chris, they're staring at me too. Tracy is covered in syrup, oblivious to the world. Keith and Laurie come in, laughing, they've been behind the bus goofing off. Keith straightens out his shirt.

-Yeah Reuben what are looking for?

-Nothing! just checking that it's still here, you know what they say about Kettleman?

Danny smiles at me, flexing all those teeth. I don't think he'll tell Shirley, but I need that fix. I close the doors and continue on to Bakersfield. Just another hour, double nickels, I can do this.

We get to Bakersfield and pull into our hotel. We start to unload.

-Reuben, you look a little under the weather, maybe you should stay in he hotel for the show.

-Thanks Shirley, I think after this morning I will.

We check to the hotel. I need to be alone. I need a bottle. I need anything to numb the pain. I grab my key and start walking towards my room.

-Hey Reuben, don't forget your bag.

I turn and Danny is standing by reception holding my bag. Did I overlook my stash earlier? I hope, weakly that I did and grab the bag from him.

-Thanks son, have a good show for me.

-We will.

He hands me my bag and walks off to his family. I keep my cool as my key turns in the lock and my door opens. As it the door shuts I fall against the door. I dump the bag on the bed. My stash is here, sweet Lord my stash is here.

I grab a spoon and cook up a shot. This, this will keep the ghosts away. I tie off an arm and put the needle in a vein. I pull back the plunger and watch the blood mix in with the horse. I push the plunger all the way down. I feel the rush and comfort. I feel it all stop.

Then my heart starts beating. My heart is beating out of my chest! The adrenalin kicks in. Then the faces kick in. All the blood is laid out before me, I can't stop it, why can't I stop it? What is mixed with this heroin?

-Danny! What did you do to me?

The door opens, Danny Partridge walks in. He stands over me as I lean against the bed, mad with visions of the war. Mad with the smell of dead flesh.

-I just thought you should spend some time with your friends in Albuquerque. You've been thinking about them alot. You're not gonna get to join them anytime soon though.

His face distorts, starts mixing with the memories and death. He speaks to me, he speaks through me:

-Candy bar and there you are Reuben Kincaid.


End file.
